To be fair, wizer will need time to heal and process all of this trauma. He can't do it now because he is still immersed in it.
Give him a year or two after it's over. He'll be in a different place.
I completely understand. I in no way meant to say anything negative about Wizey.
I think all of us here have gone thru a trauma. It is what has brought us together. I know after Dday, I was not in a healthy place. I wasn't in any place. I was in survival mode. I became a person I had never met before, and didn't like her very much.
Around one year... Then I got angry... oh my gosh! So much anger and bitterness and self pity! I wanted someone, anyone... to pay for my pain! I was full of "Why ME? What did I do? I've always turned the other cheek, prayed for the weak (I perceived bitterness and anger as "weak") Why do I have to go thru this? What did I do to deserve this?" I was a very angry person.
Around Year two... Then I went thru depression... "what's the point? It doesn't matter what I do. No one cares. Why bother?"
It was finally around year 3, I started trying to find me again. I missed me. It took me a while to get back to ME. A little older, a little wizer, and I hope, a little more compassionate.
I guess my point, probably very poorly written... Is I understand where Wize is now. I do. I get it. And I believe this is a process and a journey that he has to go thru. There are no shortcuts. You can't go over it, under it or around it, you have to go thru it. And we will be here to support him. I just want him to remember there were good times, and there will be again. I have seen people get "stuck" in the bad times, and never emerge. Somehow anger and bitterness become comfortable, I think its just safer for some to not ever open up again. I don't want that for Wize.
I just want him to know that its okay to feel what he's feeling now. Its expected, justified, and understandable. But don't stay there.... there is a rainbow, and life after the trauma.
Does any of this make sense?