Strange Advice From the Old Farmer

[wizer]

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.

[GoodWitch]

Excellent!

[Skylla]

They were all good, but I especially liked he one that said, "Forgive your enemies.....it messes up their heads".

[wizer]

Yeah, that was one of my favorites, along with these

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
You cannot unsay a cruel word. 
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

[theWiz]

A little off topic here, but the OP reminded me of a trip I made a couple of years ago with my godson.

He had to drive to Mountain View, Arkansas to see an attorney about the estate of a family member who had passed, his mother's stepbrother I think.  His mother was the only heir and he got himself appointed executor.  This was his second of three trips to settle the estate.

Anyway, it ain't easy getting to Mountain View.  It's in the freaking Ozarks, up kind of high, and it's only accessible via some funky narrow two-lane roads with a lot of curves and climbing and stuff.  And we're driving his Mercedes panel van, a good sized vehicle, but we're getting there.  About ten miles out we're talking about his lawyer when we see a road sign that says...

CROOKED AND STEEP

NEXT 8 MILES

...and he looks over at me and says, "I sure hope that's not a reference to my attorney."

[GoodWitch]

A little off topic here, but the OP reminded me of a trip I made a couple of years ago with my godson.

He had to drive to Mountain View, Arkansas to see an attorney about the estate of a family member who had passed, his mother's stepbrother I think.  His mother was the only heir and he got himself appointed executor.  This was his second of three trips to settle the estate.

Anyway, it ain't easy getting to Mountain View.  It's in the freaking Ozarks, up kind of high, and it's only accessible via some funky narrow two-lane roads with a lot of curves and climbing and stuff.  And we're driving his Mercedes panel van, a good sized vehicle, but we're getting there.  About ten miles out we're talking about his lawyer when we see a road sign that says...

...and he looks over at me and says, "I sure hope that's not a reference to my attorney."

LOL Reminds me of that famous law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.