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What does it mean to have an online relationship?

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Author Topic: What does it mean to have an online relationship?  (Read 1463 times)
pi
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« on: August 05, 2008, 08:00:15 pm »

I hear everyone talking about this and i don't get it. Can you have an online relationship with someone and still be in love and
having a rl relationship. I could never cross that line. I think it's addiction.
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wizer
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« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2008, 08:34:43 pm »

I've had a few online relationships. It's possible to develop feelings that are quite strong, and that person becomes a big part of your life, even you aren't together in a physical way, and even if you haven't met them. If you have a real life "significant other", and you get involved with someone online to the point where you are being intimate, and sexual, and sharing things that you wouldn't want your real life partner to know about, then it could be considered cheating for sure, and it can and probably will destroy your real life relationship.
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Murdock
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« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2008, 08:47:06 pm »

It is very possible that the person who goes online in search of something missing from their life isn't intending on falling for someone.  Perhaps they aren't sure what to expect.  Perhaps they are filling a void by playing a game.... getting caught up in the moment... letting loose and having some fun.  What ever they are doing... it is very easy to start believing that the game they are playing is real based on things the other person tells them. 

Or... it's a reverse troll. 

either way... same difference.

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wizer
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« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2008, 08:48:20 pm »

It is very possible that the person who goes on line in search of something missing from their life isn't. 

Isn't what?
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Murdock
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« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2008, 08:49:57 pm »

Isn't what?

look down... I realized my mistake.... but didn't modify in time  Tongue
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GoodWitch
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« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2008, 08:51:24 pm »

If I get "involved", I'm a one-at-a-time kinda girl. If I had a r/l husband I wouldn't even flirt at all online. I am single right now - and I'm still not much of a flirt - but there's another thing - if a man I "meet" online has a g-friend or is married, I sort of view him as a "third gender" - hard to explain - but I can be very good friends, and am, with men whom I consider TOTALLY off-limits sexually. I don't even THINK of them that way. I have a very hard time understanding people who are in r/l relationships who then develop online, seperate ones. Being single and meeting someone that way is different. I don't mean to sound judgemental, but I guess I am when it comes to this. If someone tells me they are married I back off so fast I don't leave a shadow! Actually, I met a guy in r/l a couple of weeks ago, who was very nice, and mentioned his wife in the first 5 minutes of conversation. So I just kept it friendly. I ran into him again this weekend and we had another nice talk about a subject we have in common. Nothing wrong with that. Zero flirting. If I can do that, anyone can.
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wizer
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« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2008, 08:51:49 pm »

look down... I realized my mistake.... but didn't modify in time  Tongue

You mean "look up", don't you? Unless you modified your profile so newest posts are on top.

And what's all that about a "reverse troll". You think someone would mess with your head like that?
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Murdock
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« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2008, 08:54:55 pm »

You mean "look up", don't you? Unless you modified your profile so newest posts are on top.

And what's all that about a "reverse troll". You think someone would mess with your head like that?


I don't know... haven't had an online relationship that was more than a friendship... if you call going ape sheit on the boards in an "i'm so bored I could die... so let's make out in public" troll... then yes... I'm guilty.... but so is he... and I think they should lock us up in the same cell... and turn all the lights off  Cheesy
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pi
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« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2008, 09:24:18 pm »

Yeah. It isn't harmless that's for sure. Thanks everybody.
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wizer
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« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2008, 10:29:40 pm »

I don't know... haven't had an online relationship that was more than a friendship... if you call going ape sheit on the boards in an "i'm so bored I could die... so let's make out in public" troll... then yes... I'm guilty.... but so is he... and I think they should lock us up in the same cell... and turn all the lights off  Cheesy


Is this guy anyone I know?
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Murdock
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« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2008, 10:49:37 pm »

Is this guy anyone I know?

no... I don't think you do. 
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wizer
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« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2008, 10:51:43 pm »

no... I don't think you do. 

Oh. For a minute there I thought you were talking about m...

Um...never mind.

What was I thinking?
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Murdock
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« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2008, 11:13:12 pm »

If I get "involved", I'm a one-at-a-time kinda girl. If I had a r/l husband I wouldn't even flirt at all online. I am single right now - and I'm still not much of a flirt - but there's another thing - if a man I "meet" online has a g-friend or is married, I sort of view him as a "third gender" - hard to explain - but I can be very good friends, and am, with men whom I consider TOTALLY off-limits sexually. I don't even THINK of them that way. I have a very hard time understanding people who are in r/l relationships who then develop online, seperate ones. Being single and meeting someone that way is different. I don't mean to sound judgemental, but I guess I am when it comes to this. If someone tells me they are married I back off so fast I don't leave a shadow! Actually, I met a guy in r/l a couple of weeks ago, who was very nice, and mentioned his wife in the first 5 minutes of conversation. So I just kept it friendly. I ran into him again this weekend and we had another nice talk about a subject we have in common. Nothing wrong with that. Zero flirting. If I can do that, anyone can.

I have many friends who are guys... and I don't flirt or cross the line in my rl friendships.  Perhaps it was my being naive to the internet... up until I joined the wonderful world of internet forums I had no idea that an online flirtation could even be considered cheating... and I still don't consider it cheating.  I didn't go looking for it or intend for it to happen this way... and since my current relationship was already struggling... I needed someone to make me feel special.... and he did. 

I would be lying if I said I didn't care about him... but I realize that my romantic feelings towards him are based on pure fantasy.  I guess if you tell yourself something over and over again... it is possible to start believing it.  I don't know if I would ever be brave enough to see him face to face... and I don't know if that is because I'm scared of ruining his fantasy... or my own.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2008, 11:49:21 pm by murdy » Report Spam   Logged

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wizer
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« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2008, 11:17:50 pm »

I don't know if I would ever be brave enough to see him face to face... and I don't know if that is because I'm scared of ruining his fantasy... or my own.

Whatever you are imagining is probably much better than the real thing. You are bound to be disappointed.
 Lips Sealed
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Murdock
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« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2008, 11:26:48 pm »

Whatever you are imagining is probably much better than the real thing. You are bound to be disappointed.
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I'm sure you will be too... I'm not a sex kitten in rl.... I have a cute face... and that's about as far as it goes. 

It's funny that this is being brought up... because I never thought about what it would be like to meet you in person.  When we have talked on the phone... we were like old friends... it's hard to say what I would feel if I were to ever see you face to face... I would probably be really excited.... (bet you didn't see that coming  Wink)
« Last Edit: August 05, 2008, 11:40:26 pm by murdy » Report Spam   Logged

~ Laughter is a Vacation ~
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